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Bureau of Land Management Sues Black Lives Matter Over Acronym Appropriation
BLM sues BLM to set the record straight.
Washington D.C.
The Bureau of Land Management today filed a brief with the US district court calling on Black Lives Matter to stop using the acronym BLM.
“This causes confusion of the highest order” said Merle Wiggens, spokesman for the Bureau. “For 75 years we have been known as the BLM to everyone in the rural United States, and this new race thingy just confuses people. It’s like people think their food comes from the grocery store or something.” He continued.
The Bureau of Land Management was founded in 1945 by president Harry Truman, and it regulates millions of acres of rural federal lands. The Bureau employs over 10,000 federal employees and is bases mainly in the western states.
“We have served ranchers and farmers in all that time. You couldn’t get a hamburger without us.” Mr Wiggens said. “Racial equality is good and stuff but when you are messing with my Big Mac, that is a different story.”
The lawsuit seeks to have Black Lives matter change their acronym so there will be less confusion.
Mr Wiggens offered this suggestion “Maybe they could change it to something like BLMMTYYRMHP (Black Lives Matter More Than Yours You Racist Misogynistic Homophobic Pig) then folks would get the right idea.
A judge will review standing in the suit in the coming weeks.
Note: This story is satire, and like all good satire it will probably offend some. It is not intended to be offensive.
